I love a good life lesson. They make me realize things in my life and help me to be a better person all around. I love them even more when my daughter teaches them to me and they make me a better mommy.
Saturday Jaelynn and I had to run into Des Moines to get Mother's Day gifts and the rest of the food for Sundays brunch. Oh yeah...I threw a brunch to honor the moms...more about that later. Anyway, one of our stops was the mall. So we went and got the grandma's their gifts and Jaelynn and I decided to stop at the food court and eat. We had such a wonderful time sharing a slice of pizza and salad. I found us a nice little corner booth and we sat next to each other. She had to stand or be on her knees so she could reach the table and after each bite she would grab my face, kiss me and tell me she loved me. We took our time and spent a good 30 minutes eating our meal. Then I let her walk instead of ride in the stroller back to our car...on the other side of the mall.
I realized while I was getting pizza face kisses that my time with Jaelynn needs to me more about quality. We spend a lot of time together. The girl is my little side kick. But it isn't always quality time. We are so busy at night that we rush home to fix supper, rush through supper, rush to take a bath and then read a couple of books quickly or just cuddle. On the weekends we are on the go and if we are at home I'm cleaning or catching up on laundry from the week.
I wanted to cry when this hit me because now I feel like I haven't given her enough of me in the last 22 months...which I know isn't true. I love this little girl so much that I can't even put that love into words. When I really sit down and think about it my heart swells and almost breaks because I love her so so much. It is a love that she won't even understand until she is much older and a mother herself. In those moments Saturday night I realized that I need to slow down and enjoy this. If a load of laundry doesn't get done it isn't going to be the end of the world. If I get pizza on my face and shirt because she is giving me hugs and kisses then I need to realize how lucky I am to have those hugs and kisses. This is my promise to you Jaelynn....more quality time with Mommy and Daddy. Less rushing and more slowing down to look at the rock or flower with you, even if that means it takes us longer to get somewhere. More sweet little girl...more of everything we can give you.....