The First of Many

When you become a mommy you get the joy of experiencing all of your child's "firsts". Most of these are a joyous and will bring a tear to your eye because your baby is growing up. As a mommy, I have realized that my days of being selfish are over and that everything I do now revolves around Jaelynn. However...one day a year....mom's can be selfish and not feel guilty. That wonderful day is Mother's Day!

My first Mother's Day was perfect! It actually started Saturday when Kevin, who is terrible about holding onto gifts, handed me a card from Jaelynn. Inside was the best gift...a 1 hour full body massage. This momma needs that!

Mother's Day dawned bright and early....6:30 am to be exact! But instead of dragging myself out of bed to change a diaper and fix a bottle, Kevin got up! He took care of Jaelynn and brought her back to bed and we all fell back asleep for a couple more hours. I got the pleasure of waking up to my daughter touching my face and smiling at me. After a quick bath, Jaelynn and I were sitting in her room chatting and Kevin came back upstairs...armed with coffee and toast for me! He told me to get back in bed and have my breakfast. Let me tell you...this man makes a mean cup of coffee!

So, our original plan was to go to the zoo. However, Iowa weather threw us another curve ball and it was too cool to go to the zoo. I was bummed out but not for long. My mom came up to spend the day with us and that always makes me happy. Mom, Jaelynn and I decided to head to Des Moines for lunch and a little light shopping. Another highlight of the day was purchasing a much needed new grill and having Kevin's family over for dinner.

All in all my first Mother's Day was perfect. I can't wait until Jaelynn is old enough to make me cards herself and bring me burnt toast in bed. I know that she didn't fully understand why Sunday was so special to me or why I kept tearing up but one day she will. However, Kevin did a wonderful job of filling in for her until she is older. He made me feel special all day! I'm already starting to plan Father's Day!

Isn't it fitting?

I didn't post last week because I just wasn't in a very good frame of mind. I was having a really hard time working last week and having to leave my baby at daycare. I just really wanted to stay home with her last week and it is no surprise that I feel the same way this week. I'm pursuing some avenues right now that will hopefully allow me to stay home by the end of the year. More about those things later.

What I really want to write about is how amazing God is! How He knows when there is something weighing heavy on my heart and sends me right where I need to be. Today it was in the form of scripture and devotion. Other days it is a kind word or a song.

I was reading my daily devotion (finally got my bible back!!) on my lunch break. Today was about the Impossible Dream. I read Mathew 1:14-25. In a nutshell this passage talks about the dream Joseph had where the Angle of God came to him and told him the child Mary was carrying was to be the child of God. Not to shame her but to marry her and raise the child as his own and to call him Jesus. The devotion talked about the turmoil Joseph must have felt about this. What would it be like to raise Jesus and would he always be faced with the whispers about Mary. Anyway....at one point the Angel said "Do not be afraid". You know what...I am afraid. That is one of the reasons I have just talked about starting a business and not doing it. I'm afraid that my desire to stay home is just that...my desire...not God's plan for me. I pray about it and ask God to open up doors for me but then I look away when a door opens because I don't know if God opened it or if I opened it. The bible also says with God all things are possible. If I'm really meant to do this and I believe then I will succeed. I do believe that God wants me to stay home. I believe that if He wanted me in the work place then He would take this desire away from me. So I just need to believe and pray that all of this will work out in the end.

Isn't it neat how sometimes the answers are right there?