Working Mommy Guilt

I know that I've blogged about this before but it is a very real problem that I deal with on a daily basis. I thought that as Jaelynn got older dropping her off at daycare would get easier. I was so wrong. Every day is a struggle for me. I know that she is being well taken care of, that isn't the problem at all. We have been blessed with a wonderful daycare provider that adores Jaelynn and is just a few blocks from where I work.

Jaelynn is happy at daycare. She talks about her friends all the time. We sing songs at home and she can show me everything she is learning. Just the other night we were getting ready for bed and I started singing Twinkle Twinkle to her and she joined right in...my little girl knew the words!! Monica also has taught Jaelynn some sign language that has come in handy. We don't use it very often because Jaelynn's verbal skills are very advanced but it is still cute to see her sign things.

The problem is me. I'm at work but my heart is still standing in the door hugging my little girl and missing out on teaching her. I'm missing out on cuddles and kisses and tantrums. Kevin and I both knew that we would both have to work when we started our family. I was really really okay with it. I knew that I would enjoy motherhood and that I would miss our children but I also figured that working would give me a much needed break. I had no idea that being a mom would complete me the way it has and that I would miss her so damn much!

When I walked in to pick up my little princess last night, this is the face that ran to me! Isn't her hair cute!! You can't really tell in the picture but Monica did a beauty day yesterday and curled all the little girls' hair. Jaelynn's didn't stay in the best because it is so fine, but you could see a little curl.

My goal has become to find a way to stay home with our daughter and any future children we may have. I'm working on some things that I'll keep quiet for now but just know that one day soon I'll get to be with my baby all day! And that my friends will be a great accomplishment.