I didn't post last week because I just wasn't in a very good frame of mind. I was having a really hard time working last week and having to leave my baby at daycare. I just really wanted to stay home with her last week and it is no surprise that I feel the same way this week. I'm pursuing some avenues right now that will hopefully allow me to stay home by the end of the year. More about those things later.
What I really want to write about is how amazing God is! How He knows when there is something weighing heavy on my heart and sends me right where I need to be. Today it was in the form of scripture and devotion. Other days it is a kind word or a song.
I was reading my daily devotion (finally got my bible back!!) on my lunch break. Today was about the Impossible Dream. I read Mathew 1:14-25. In a nutshell this passage talks about the dream Joseph had where the Angle of God came to him and told him the child Mary was carrying was to be the child of God. Not to shame her but to marry her and raise the child as his own and to call him Jesus. The devotion talked about the turmoil Joseph must have felt about this. What would it be like to raise Jesus and would he always be faced with the whispers about Mary. Anyway....at one point the Angel said "Do not be afraid". You know what...I am afraid. That is one of the reasons I have just talked about starting a business and not doing it. I'm afraid that my desire to stay home is just that...my desire...not God's plan for me. I pray about it and ask God to open up doors for me but then I look away when a door opens because I don't know if God opened it or if I opened it. The bible also says with God all things are possible. If I'm really meant to do this and I believe then I will succeed. I do believe that God wants me to stay home. I believe that if He wanted me in the work place then He would take this desire away from me. So I just need to believe and pray that all of this will work out in the end.
Isn't it neat how sometimes the answers are right there?